I Love To Teach, So Why Am I Ready To Leave The Profession?

Yesterday, while listening to a podcast on how to become a better writer, the host and his guest had said that answering questions on Quora was a good way to improve upon one’s writing. I signed up and decided to make education and teaching two of the categories that I would populate my feed with, amongst other interests. Since I have nearly 20 years of experience as a teacher, I thought that I could be useful and answer people’s questions as they relate to teaching. This may have been a mistake.

The first question I tried to answer was, “Why do so many teachers leave after a few years?”. I started formulating my answer, but after reading what I had typed so far, I realized I was going to have to spend some time organizing and editing my response as it jumped around a little too much and wasn’t coherent in its current state. I decided to take a break and read what some of the other people had said, figuring if their answers were good then the investment of time to make mine organized wouldn’t be worth it. I didn’t expect what happened next.

It was as if my body was having a trauma response while reading the reasons that teachers leave. I don’t want to equate real trauma to the reaction that I was having yesterday, but I don’t know how else to put it. I guess “stress response” would be a better way to say it as to not diminish people who have suffered real trauma, but the point is, I was having a physiological reaction to reading the reasons that others had pointed out in their answers . . . classroom behavior management, increasing workload, unfair expectations, lack of support by administrators, stagnant pay, lack of upward career mobility, etc. I noticed my chest tightening, my armpits started to stress sweat, my breathing became shallow. The point is that I identified with all of the reasons I was reading and it was a stark reminder of how much I really may need to leave the profession.

Last October, I left school in an ambulance. I felt weird that morning and decided to go get checked out by the school nurse during my lunch break. My blood pressure was so high that the nurse and the principal told me that they weren’t comfortable sending me back to class and that instead they really recommended that I go to the hospital. While they were trying to convince me to go get further medical attention, someone had already called 911 fearing for my health. The EMTs showed up and despite me wanting to just go back to class and finish the day, they eventually convinced me to take the ambulance ride to the nearest hospital.

At the hospital they ran a bunch of tests making sure that I wasn’t in immediate danger and within a couple of hours they released me after my blood pressure came down to normal levels. The recommendation was that I follow up with a cardiologist and to try and take it easy.

The first part of this recommendation was easier to fulfill. I have followed up the the cardiologist and luckily I tested negative for the really nasty stuff. The second piece of advice, the take it easy part, felt much harder to accomplish. Reading these answers on Quora yesterday served as a reminder of how badly I want to leave the profession. I’m good at what I do, but I’m not sure I’m willing to have a stroke or a heart attack for it.

I’ve had some amazing interactions with my students. I’m old enough now (almost 50) to have seen former students graduating from college, getting married, and having kids. The relationships you are able to form with students are why most teachers do what they do. It is not hyperbole to say that you really can change a student’s life for the better. But, thank you cards don’t pay the electric bill and the incessant stress of the job eventually catches up with you.

I love the act of teaching and connecting with someone to show them something that they didn’t know how to do before. The satisfaction they get from their achievement is palpable. There is also an energy transfer back to the teacher when you see that you have helped them learn a difficult concept. Unfortunately, in public education, teaching is only one of the twenty or so responsibilities that you actually have and at times it doesn’t feel like the number one priority. If you know, you know.

“Wah, wah. Another teacher complaining about how difficult their job is. I mean you have summers off. How hard can it be?”

I used to get upset with this sentiment earlier in my career knowing how hard it actually is, now I just realize that this is most likely a response coming from someone who has no idea what it is actually like to be a teacher. Sometimes I’ll reply with, “Well, we’re always looking for new teachers, you should apply.” Usually the response to that is crickets. Why? Because people don’t want to be public school teachers. There is a multitude of reasons for this, but at the end of the day, I think people really do understand why the job can be stressful and that is why they don’t want to do it. Their gripe is really a complaint about their own struggles and wishing that their jobs weren’t as stressful too. I understand.

Here’s the thing. We are asking our teachers for more and more. Although pay has trended upward, the year to year raises that teachers do get hardly pace inflation. Medical coverage out of pocket costs have gone up and you don’t really see too many cases of “free health coverage” anymore. Teachers bring home work with them, both physically and mentally.

Demands have risen over time as well. The expectations to diversify each lesson to every student’s individual needs. Signing off on and implementing IEPs and 504s. Filing state-required paperwork. Grading and recording student work. Preparing engaging lessons, in the face of social media trained 15 second attention spans. Not to mention, hearing the tragic stories about student’s home lives, which all too often explain why that student isn’t engaged while they are at school. It’s as if teachers are doing the work of three or more people, but I digress.

Ultimately I am blessed to have a job that can make a difference and has allowed me to support my family. The point I am making here is don’t go on Quora. Just kidding.

I guess the reason that I am writing this is two fold. One, it’s personal. I’m not sure how much more I can physically take if I continue to teach in a public school. I have been looking for other ways to support my family, but after spending so much time in the classroom it is often hard to figure out how to market the skills that I do have to fit the job descriptions of other jobs. I’m supporting a family, so taking an entry level job in a new field often isn’t an option because of the math, these jobs just don’t pay enough to continue supporting my family. I really don’t know what to do.

Another reason I am writing this is for you.

If you are not a teacher, I hope that reading this sheds some light on how difficult it actually can be to teach and that our teachers are burning out, despite their willingness to help others.

If you are a teacher, I can identify with your struggle. My hopes are that in writing this you can identify with some of the things that I am saying here and feel a little bit better knowing that you are not alone.

The trajectory of the teaching profession as a whole seems to be heading in the wrong direction. I don’t see it getting any easier for our teachers to deliver on the promises that we make to ourselves and our communities, not because we don’t want to, but because the expectations are becomingly increasingly difficult to meet.