The Power Of A Nudge

How A Pat On The Back Can Make All The Difference When Wandering Through New Territory

Sometimes all you need is a nudge.

I saw a friend of mine today while I was at the store grabbing a couple things. I hadn't seen her for a couple of weeks and I had mentioned that I had been working on this blog to her. Ironically, she was the friend that had asked me if I could help her design a webpage in the article I just published.

This article:

The Yes-No Duality

What Are Your Choices Costing You? How yeses can really be nos.

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While talking to her, I mentioned that I had been working on the MrJsn blog all summer and that was the reason I had said no to building her website for her. I didn't want to dilute my focus on writing and that is essentially why I said no.

To her credit, she totally understood and was supportive in my wanting to create this blog. In fact, she became the first official subscriber to my newsletter today, which is even more bizarre.

Sometimes all we need is a nudge to propel us in the direction of our dreams.

I don't think she realized how much it meant to me for her to understand why I wasn't able to help with the website, but also for her to be supportive of my idea to write. It really did help me feel like I'm on the right path.

We get a series of these little nudges every day, especially when we're trying new things or pushing ourselves to the edge of our comfort zones. It can be intimidating to share what we're doing with others, especially when we're not even sure how we feel about it ourselves.

I guess it's the fear of someone saying that they don't think it's a good idea. It's not so much that I'll believe them, but it does give that negative voice in my head just a little more power. It can add momentum to these doubtful thoughts and enable them to squash that positive half of my consciousness more easily.

On the other hand, a little nudge is sometimes all it takes to keep going.

After having our brief conversation at the store I felt like my idea had been validated. I'm being really careful about who I share this blog with. I was kind of trying to wait until I had more momentum behind it to mention it to my friends. That way it wouldn't matter what they say. I would already have some validation behind the work before putting myself in the vulnerable position of having someone, whose opinion I value, kind of shrug their shoulders at the idea.

I think it's easy for us to underestimate these little nudges that we get.

When something is new and we are unsure about it, it is sometimes these little pushes that can make or break a project. Sometimes, that negative comment is just enough to overtake that positive voice in your mind that thinks that it will work out.

To get the support of my friend, especially after she read the article where I talked about why I couldn't take on her job, was a blessing. It was just a little more fuel in that positive fire, the one that makes me want to continue. The one that makes me believe that I can do this.

These little nudges can be so significant in our lives, if we let them.

The trouble is, they usually come about when we are in new territory, trying to find evidence that we are on the right track. If we're confident in what we're doing, it doesn't really matter what anyone says, we're going to continue forward either way. But in these moments where we have extended ourselves past our comfort zone, these little nudges can potentially punch above their weight class.

It's in these exploratory moments, when we are putting ourselves out there to try something new, that these little pushes have the most impact. It's when we aren't sure about what we're doing that there is enough space for one of these comments to break us down or to build us up.

Be careful, you are a nudger too.

So am I. So are all of us.

When the people we care about come to us with their new ideas, we have to remember that maybe all they're looking for is a hint of validation. Maybe their confidence in a project is teetering. Whatever comment you make may be just enough to push it in either direction. Be thoughtful in how you respond, but be honest.

I'm not telling you to lie to someone you care about just to make them feel better, but keep in mind that the feedback you are giving could be far more impactful than you realize. It could be just enough to encourage or discourage a friend from moving forward on something that they are curious about.

Thank you friend, who I won't name here, but you know who you are.

Thanks for your understanding and thank you for seeing the vision with me.

Thank you for the nudge.